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A Week of Darkness - My Last Time

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  The last time I used drugs was a week-long misery that changed my life forever. I had given up crack, and by the grace of God, the desire for it had completely left me. However, I was still struggling with fentanyl. For an entire week, I stayed in a dark room, only waking up to buy more fentanyl. I couldn't function or take care of myself. My hair became matted, and I was soaked in urine. It was a low point that felt impossible to escape. Then, I found out that a ride was on its way to take me to rehab. In a moment of desperation, I snorted one last 20. That decision led to an overdose. But that wasn't the end of my story—it was the beginning of my recovery journey. The overdose was a wake-up call that pushed me towards seeking help and embracing the support around me. Rehab wasn't easy, but it was necessary. It gave me the tools to rebuild my life and find hope again. Today, I'm grateful for every step of my journey, no matter how painful it was at the time. If you...
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Reflecting on the Past: Embracing a New Life

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     Today, I’ve been thinking a lot about my past. It’s a journey that feels like a lifetime ago, and I realize now that I could never go back to my old life. I don’t think I would fit in anymore. I remember in 2008 when I first started attending Narcotics Anonymous meetings. It was a pivotal moment for me. I heard someone say that Narcotics Anonymous ruined them from ever being able to enjoy getting high again. At the time, it sounded strange, but now it makes perfect sense. When you don’t know, you don’t know. But once you know, you know.     In my past, when I was using, I fit that lifestyle so well. It was a part of me, and I couldn’t imagine anything different. But now, after living a clean and sanctified life, I understand that there is a better way to live. The clarity and peace I have found are incomparable to the chaos of my past. If I ever went back, I wouldn’t know how to fit in. The person I was then is not who I am now. The experiences and growth I...
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My Why? and How?

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  Why did I decide to change my life?      I reached a point where I was utterly exhausted from not functioning as a human being. The weight of my struggles had become unbearable, and I knew I needed a transformation. It became clear to me that I needed a profound change to move forward. How did I achieve this transformation?  I embarked on a transformative journey, deeply influenced by the profound wisdom and unwavering support of Narcotics Anonymous. Their invaluable suggestions and encouragement played a pivotal role in my recovery process. Alongside this external guidance, I found immense solace and strength in the grace of a higher power—God. This harmonious blend of external support and inner spiritual strength became the driving force that propelled me toward significant and positive change in my life. Remember, every step counts, and seeking help is a sign of courage . 
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My One Year Testimony

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      I am a living testament to the power of God’s Grace and the help Narcotics Anonymous can give. Despite a turbulent past, I have overcome immense challenges and found my purpose in life.  I was immersed in a life of crime of every sort you could imagine; I did every drug known to man. I was involved in drug dealing with international drug ties, spent time behind bars, pimped out and sold women, and even dabbled in the occult. I did things most people would be ashamed to say they did. The darkness seemed endless, and hope felt like a distant dream. I felt I had lost my soul and I was merely existing.     But everything changed when I encountered my higher power. As you will learn from my testimony... God moved mountains more than once and performed miracles to bring me to where I am today. His love and mercy broke through the chains of addiction and despair that once held me captive. Through faith... I found redemption, forgiveness, and a sense of purpo...
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I was Unafraid to Die AGAIN

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          I was addicted to drugs for a long time. But once I started using Fentanyl I went on a downward spiral. However, due to long-term drug abuse, it was the only thing that made me feel high anymore. Even though I knew it was killing me, I had tried to quit many times, but I always relapsed. Because every time I went to detox my goal was to just get off the fentanyl, but not the other drugs. This time was different because I fully surrendered. I was willing to do anything.    I had begged my mom for four days to find me anywhere to go to detox. I knew I needed medical detox to get off the amount of drugs I was on. She finally got ahold of Blackberry Hospital in St. Cloud, FL. They arranged to pick me up. Two hours later a woman named, Michelle, was at my home to pick me up. I snorted my last $20 bag of fentanyl right before she arrived. Thinking like a drug addict, I thought leaving it would "waste" it. The first hour of the ride, I slept. T...
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Spiritual Battle

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     Earlier this week, my night terrors came back. I couldn't sleep more than an hour or two without having a nightmare that I struggled waking up from. On Friday night, I felt something different. I had just laid in bed and got an overwhelming feeling of fear. Like the sense you get right before someone breaks into your house. Yet, I knew no one was about to break in. I usually do not experience much fear... So, this incident stood out to me. I started playing an audio of Psalm 91 and fell right to sleep. The night terrors lasted for 5 days.      The next day, I walked to church for Saturday morning prayer hour. On the way home, I found a baggie of drugs. At first, I picked it up because I realized it was not an empty bag. Then, in fear of my mind obsessing over it and returning. I ended up ripping the bag open and dumping it out. The rest of my walk home I just repeated saying, "The blood of Jesus". Later on, three times something happened I thought...
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